Today's Cookies and Cream Day, in commemoration of me, the cookies and cream bunny. In order to celebrate this most atypical occasion, my owner and her cronies (Roxy and Poxy? wtf.) decided to make cookies and cream fudge.

It was too sweet.

Owner ordered cans of marshmallow creme (because normal marshmallows are so haram... even for bunnies? wtf.), and 20 bags of Nestle White Chocolate Chips (which incidently contains whey... wtf.), not to mention the Costco-sized boxes of Oreos, to cook their black and white ... thing. Sound good enough? Wait till you hear this:

VEGETABLE SHORTENING.

That's what they used! To make MY fudge. Do they not know that there is nothing more I abhor than vegetable shortening? Do they not know that I religiously hide the boxes of vegetable shortening hoping they don't use it? Who threw the vegetable shortening to the dogs last week? THAT'S RIGHT. So wtf would you use vegetable shortening to celebrate ME for? Are they too cheap to use real butter. Honestly, I like the real deal. I CAN believe it's not butter. Please don't go cheap on me.

Sounds bad enough, right. Wait till you hear this:

THREE CUPS OF SUGAR.

That's right, THREE. I'm already leaning towards diabeties. Do they really posess such a desire to murder me? I've had enough of this place. I'm running away.

P.S. They were smiling and grinning prouldy as they presented it to me. Why wouldn't you want to kill someone for doing THAT? I took a little bite. Such an act was self-laceration. I told them that. Their grins promptly increased. I socked them in the face. "Aww, how cute," said my owner (who insists on being called Roxy... wtf.). That was it. "F-you." I said. She wasn't even shocked at my vulgar language.

P.P.S. The F in this entry stands for "fudge." Dirty minds... wtf.