It has come to my attention that some people like calling me fat simply because I enjoy eating. They are obviously jealous of my high metabolism in that I stay unbelievably handsome and physically fit despite my eating disorders. Of course, who wouldn't be jealous of me, Woodrow Wilson, the unbelievably masculine rabbit? However, do they have to be so obscene about it? Is this just? Is this right? Nay, it is heresy!

Feel free to flame them at this address: rabbithaters@gmail.com

Jazakallahu Khairun, brothers and sisters.